Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Opening Lines: The Real Housewives of New York City


The Big Apple ladies are back! We're total Bravoholics and have been anxiously awaiting tonight's premiere of season 6 of The Real Housewives of New York City. The fabulous ladies of NYC are back and, judging by their opening lines, they are sassier than ever! We're taking a page out of our Honorary Gal Andy Cohen's book and rating these new opening lines, just like we did for the most recent season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Let's see which housewife gets our mazel of the day!

Carole
CAROLE: If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass.

This one literally made me burst out laughing the first time I heard it - I like that Bravo is leading with such a cheeky soundbite! Carole's whole persona on the show revolves around being a sexy widow who is back in the dating scene, so it's no surprise that she'd want people to be aware of her best asset (sorry, it was just too easy!). I also like this line because of its implied kiss-off - Carole usually stays out of the drama on the show, so I feel like this line is her way of saying that no matter what the other housewives may think of her, she's still coming out on top! It's a strong start for the opening lines, and definitely sets the tone.

Aviva
AVIVA: When people tell me I'm fake, I know they're just pulling my leg.

When I first heard Aviva's line, I had to rewind it to make sure I heard it correctly...then I rewinded it again to double check...then my jaw just dropped that they actually went. THERE. 

To catch all of you non-Superfans up to speed, Aviva certainly made a splash during her first season as a housewife - she was always at the center of the drama, whether she was attempting to set Sonja up her randy father, calling her fellow housewives "trash," or throwing a temper tantrum when she and her husband weren't welcomed by a parade and marching band for managing the grand feat of...getting on a plane to a tropical vacation. Aviva has had plenty of accusations of fakeness tossed her way, so I love that she addressed it in her opening line.

Oh yeah, and she only has one leg which makes her line absurd and makes me obsessed! 

Heather
HEATHER: A true New Yorker never backs down, and I'm no exception. Holla!

Ok, first of all, thank god the Holla! is back! Seriously every time the intros run, I can’t help but yell Holla! along with Heather because it really is that ridiculous! But even with the Holla! back in town, I’m just not feeling her tagline. She’s not even actually from NYC (only Aviva can stake that claim, as we know from last year’s tagline!). I guess it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard, but I’m just sort of meh about it. My only hope is that this is her way of saying that she’ll be in the middle of many a crazy and dramatic fight this season - Holla!


Kristen
KRISTEN: I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm pretty!

Where do I even begin with this one?! Girl, I’m sorry, but you’re a rookie housewife rolling up in Season 6 and this is the best you can come up with?! When I first heard this I was ready to write her off as one of the one and done duds (Hi Cindy, I’m looking at you!) but based off of the little I saw from Bravo’s preview special, she actually doesn’t seem that devoid of personality or a complete moron, so I’m pretty baffled that this is what she went with. Apparently she’s also a model, so I guess she decided to play off of that but I suspect if she’s back for a second season she’ll be fast to change up this ridiculous tagline!

Ramona
RAMONA: Get the Pinot ready, because it's Turtle Time.

I have mixed feelings about this line, so let's start with the good - you can't have Ramona without her constant companion Pinot Grigio, so of course her trusty sidekick warrants a mention in her opener. True Sequin Notebook story - we once tracked down a bottle of Ramona Pinot Grigio (yes, she has her own line!) at my local liquor shop just so that we could live a little more like Mrs. Singer herself, and we were told that Ramona had recently been in there signing bottles! Obviously, I now always look for her every time I'm in the store. The point is, I'm totally cool with the beginning of Ramona's opening line.

However, she loses me on the second half - Turtle Time is some kind of Ramona phrase that originated on the show. Unfortunately, I am certainly an avid viewer but I can't really remember what Turtle Time is all about, so I'm not confident that less-obsessive viewers will connect with it. Luckily, I did some extensive research (no journalistic stone is left uncovered on The Sequin Notebook) and discovered Ramona's definition of Turtle Time: “cutting loose, having some Pinot Grigio, and even dancing.” I can definitely get onboard with all of those activities, but I'm still not a fan of the phrase!

Ramona, stop trying to make Turtle Time happen - just drink your Pinot Grigio!


Sonja
SONJA: Sometimes Sonja has to go commando. What can I say?

Can we all give a collective Huh?!? on this one? I know it’s Sonja and she’s completely crazy (and from the looks of things, unraveling even further this season) but this one is out there even for her! I don’t even know where to start with it! I guess she’s trying to play up her fun and free spirited nature with this one, but I just can’t get past the fact that she’s summing it up with the need to go commando. But if this insane tagline is any indication for the nonsense she has in store for us this season, then we are in for a real treat with her this season and I for one cannot wait!

While it's extremely difficult to select our favorite/least favorite lines from this amazing group, it's our responsibility as Bravo-addicted bloggers to judge! Here are our selections:


It's tough for me to pick a least favorite because I don't think there is a loser in this bunch but since I have to select one, I'll go with Kristen. Yes, it's easy to pick on the new girl, but I think she could have upped her game by coming up with something more witty instead of putting down her own intelligence.

My favorite is clear-cut for me - while I adore them all, it's Aviva (and her leg!) for the win in my book!


I'm completely with B on picking a least favorite - they really are all winners this season!  But if I must pick, sadly I need to go with Ramona.  As much as I looove her nod to Pinot Grigio (and yes Ramona, I will be getting the Pinot ready!), that turtle time just kills it for me.  She's trying way too hard, and as B said, stop trying to make Turtle Time happen!!

My favorite goes to Carole.  I think she's stepping up her game this season and I can't get enough of the sass in her tagline, especially after her nonsense princess tagline of last year.

Now it's your turn...which opening line is your favorite/least favorite from this bunch?

xoxo 
The Gals

14 comments :

  1. I don't watch RHONY...I'm a Jersey fan all the way (I watch waaayy too much tv to add much else)! Judging just by what you gals have written, I will say that my least favorite has to be Ramona! Turtle Time is just a ridic phrase! Picking one of the slowest, least active animals around to represent partying....???! Though maybe it's also my favorite because it makes me laugh the most, haha!!

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    1. Haha such a good point about turtles not really being known as party animals! So crazy!

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  2. PUMPED for this to start. Love Bravo. Even Spyros, bless his heart, has gotten on board with the Real Housewives...the blog looks great!! Xx.

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    1. Thank you, we love our new design! M's husband is definitely a Real Housewives fanatic as well!

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  3. Soo pumped for this!!!! NY is my favorite season! You'll have to give a recap after tonight! :)

    Glad you share my love for RHONY!

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    1. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this episode - did you watch the season preview clip? It already looks amazing!

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  4. Oh you are well aware of my love for all things Bravo tv....they make the most addicting shows!

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    1. Seriously, I can never resist a good Bravo marathon!!

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  5. For some reason, I can't get into the New York Real Housewives. I think it's just because Sonja annoys the heck outta me! Haha... all the other seasons I love though!

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    1. Haha that's like me with OC...for some reason, I just never really got into that version!

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  6. Haha I loved this! I actually haven't seen the New York franchise in a couple of years.. I can't believe Ramona is still on the show!

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    1. I think they'll have to drag Ramona out of there kicking and screaming!

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  7. This is one of my least favorite groups. Ramona is annoying as shiz if I remember correctly. Oh well its on Bravo so I know I'll catch it soon!

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    1. Yes, even when I try to resist I always get sucked into Bravo's programming!

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B & M

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